I still can't believe...

February 5, 1992 to January 28, 2006


I still can’t believe my Beau is gone.

Beau has been with this family for many years. In a week, he would have been 14 years old.

He was doing well and then one day, I don’t know what happened.

About two weeks ago, my little sister called me and said, “Is Beau doing o.k.?” I said “Yes, why?” She said, “I’ve been having dreams that Beau died”. I said to her, “No, don’t say that. He’s doing fine.”

Little did I know… a week later, out of the blue, so it seemed, Beau had trouble getting up. I knew he was very old, but it happened so suddenly. My gosh! Within a matter of days, he lost the use of his hind legs. But with a little help, he would manage to get up and walk a little. I called my sister back and told her, “I think your dream may be coming true. Beau is not doing well.”

I also had a dream that Beau was dying…I woke up and I could feel it in my heart that this was going to be it.

Friday night, I noticed he was not looking too well. He looked very sad and did not want to eat and drank very little water. I could not make him take his medication.

Saturday morning, he did not look any better and when I moved him, I could tell it was painful for him. I looked into his eyes and I knew it was time…

My husband came home from work around noon. I told him I had spoken to the vet and he had recommended that we take him in. I could tell my husband did not want to do it. We even had a fight over it. I think he was having a harder time coming to terms with this than I was. I told him that Beau was in pain now and he needed to be put to sleep.

I had to take charge and reluctantly, my husband managed to get Beau in the back of his truck and drove him to the vet. Surprisingly, Beau lifted his head (breathing in the air) and he almost looked normal again. I think he needed that.

When we got him to the vet, he explained the procedure and told us it was going to be painless. “He is an aging dog. There’s nothing more you can do for him. Don’t try to prolong this any longer, as it will only get worse and he will suffer.” I kept trying to be strong for the kids, but the tears starting pouring out. This was it….this was really it!. We were actually going to do it…

We said our goodbyes and cried. But in the end, we knew it was necessary for Beau’s sake. I didn’t think we would be able to handle being there but the kids insisted they wanted to be with Beau until the end. So we did…

I kept talking and rubbing Beau…until it was over. Even though it was painful to watch, my heart felt lighter… I knew it was the right thing to do.

Beau gave us some wonderful years.

Goodbye my Beau… We will miss you! You will be forever in our hearts. :(