expectations...

For the past few years, my husband has been coaching a girl’s softball team.  And as baseball season began, I’ve volunteered in helping out with the organization whether it was by working the concession stand, cleaning up, etc.  My husband coached two teams.  My daughter only played in one of the teams but I would go see the other team play just to show my support.  

It was a little hard on me being the coach’s wife.  During that time, I became acquainted with some of the girls’ parents.  But when parents would get angry at the “coach” for whatever reason, they would say certain remarks about him, which would make me feel uncomfortable and sometimes it would hurt.  I would have to either ignore it or try to explain it.    

Now, he’s serving as president of the baseball organization, which is even worse.  I believe he’s doing a wonderful job with the program and people are beginning to see good results in the way the program is running.  I am very proud of him!  But that’s just it… it’s his thing.    

The other day someone says to me, “I want to ask you something.  People want to know what have YOU done for the program?”  

I was a little hurt by that question.  And yet I knew this was coming only because I didn’t join the board and I haven’t been showing up to every meeting, event, etc. as much as I would like or used to.

“You know, I really haven’t done anything…zero… nada!”   I answered, to which my hubby immediately came to my defense and said, “Just because you don’t see her around doesn’t mean she’s not doing anything.  In fact, who do you think sends out the e-mails and works on typing the documents?”  

I didn’t feel the need to explain myself but I turned to that person and replied, “Since my husband is already putting 100% of his time to this organization, I believe that one of us has to stay at home to take care of matters there.”  

Why do people always expect too much?  

That’s just the thing.   All my life has been that way.  When I was growing up, I had a very strict father.  And if we did anything wrong, my mother would never hear the end of it.  I always felt I had to do “the right thing” for her sake as well as ours.  I also lived in the “barrio” where people were always gossiping.  And even though I was walking the straight line, they managed to come up with some gossip about me.  What would hurt me the most was that my father believed them!  But that’s another story.  

The same thing happened when I married my husband.  There was a different expectation of me because he was involved in certain political and other organizations to which I had to watch what I said or did.  

People expect so much from you but no matter what you do, you can never please them.  I’m tired of trying keep up and always worrying about what other people are going to say or think.  I’m already worried about having this in my blog.  

There so much I would like to say and talk about but I know I can’t at this point.  

I just want to be ME and do my own thing.  I don’t want to have to answer to anyone except myself.  

Since that question was brought up, I have to admit, I haven’t done anything to change their opinion of me.  In fact, I haven’t been around as much either.  I don’t want them getting used to it.

I’m not saying that I won’t be helping out, but when the time comes around, I’ll gladly volunteer and put in the time.