A few weeks ago, I had been sick with a bad cough. Just when I thought I've gotten over it, this morning I woke up feeling worse. My nose feels stuffed and yet it's dripping like a faucet. I look like Rudolph the red-nose reindeer. It's raw from blowing my nose too much. My ears feel plugged but hey, at least my cough has subsided. This is the longest I've been sick. It's getting to be irritating!

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, we had really good weather. It was sunny, warm and it felt like spring. Now the temperature dropped and it's been drizzling all day. This morning I woke up to the weather report announcing that we're expected to have very cold weather and snow (6-12 inches)!

This past couple of weeks, I've been in contact with a few of my HS classmates. Since our HS class reunion is coming up next year, they've been wanting to get together to plan for this reunion. It's been several years since I've seen my friends. I am excited to get a chance to meet them again after all these years and yet...I am scared. Scared because... well you know... are they going to like me? I don't want them to see me like this...I've gained a lot of weight since HS. What are they going to think of me?

On my way to work, I began thinking about this meeting. We're supposed to meet later today after work. I began wondering what my friends look like now. What have they been up to? Soon, I began having these feelings of self-doubt and low self-esteem. I had all these thoughts running through my mind. Pretty soon I was feeling sorry for myself. Finding everything wrong that they could possibly find about me... my looks...my weight... etc. Do I look old? Being sick did not help matters.

As I was getting off the train, I saw a man talking to a person who appeared to be his friend. But what caught my eye was that he had a large dark mole covering half of his face. He did not appear to be self-conscious. He was smiling and happily talking to that person.

I continued walking down the street and came across another man. He was a handsome man except for one thing... when he turned, I saw that he had an enlarged mole or growth behind one of his ears. It was so big it looked like he had a gulf ball hanging from his ear. The man seemed not to have a care in the world and did not seem to mind or worry about how people looked at him and/or what they thought about him.

For a split second, I felt sorry for them and then I started thinking to myself, was this a sign from above? No... I shouldn't feel sorry for them. I was right to feel sorry for myself... only because here I am putting myself down and complaining. Imagine if that would have been me! It made me realize that I should be more grateful. No one is perfect. Be thankful for what you have and what you don't have (in most cases).

After making peace with myself, I thought about attending this meeting. Forget about how I look or what they are going to think about me. I need to quit worrying about that stuff and stop being this way! I should consider myself lucky.

But as time passed, I did not feel any better. I had no choice... so I e-mailed one of my classmates to tell her I was not going to be able to join them. In a way, I was looking forward to meeting them and yet, deep down, I secretly felt relieved being sick so that I had an excuse not to go.

Is this bad or what?!