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This morning I woke up feeling strange... more like I wanted to cry my heart out...and so I did (well, enough so as not to get noticed).

I got up and went downstairs to let my pet Coqueta out to pee. By the time I got to her her, she had an another accident. There was poop all around where she was laying. Since she stepped on it when she got up, she left poop paw prints all over the floor!

I was already in a hurry and I didn't want to be late for work. But I had no choice, I had to clean up the mess before I left. I got so upset! Not only did I had to clean up the mess, but I had to wash her too. It was so gross!

Before I knew it, I was in tears. Hot tears burning down my cheeks. Tears of anger...tears of pain...I don't know. As I turned to look at her, I saw it in her eyes... she too was sad and she knew I was unhappy. It made me feel even worse because I know it's not her fault.

Yesterday she was outside enjoying the nice weather. She was actually running around on the grass. Except for having her "accidents", she's doing great. But for some reason, she just can't go do her "duty" outside. It always happens when she's laying down. Is it fair to her and to me? What am I doing here? How long am I going to do this for? I know she's just a "dog". But she's been with us for 15 years! How can I not take care of her when she needs me? Am I doing the right thing?

I went back upstairs and as I was wiping my tears, my daughter sees me and turns to my son and asks him, "Why is mom crying?" My son replies, "I think she's depressed."

Depressed... yes, I'm starting to feel it. One more thing to add to things...and it's really breaking my heart...!