Always on the run...!

Remember the cartoons where it showed a calendar flipping rapidly through the days to get to the next year? Or when you put a movie on fast forward? Well, that’s what my life feels like. I have this feeling as if I have been in a dream state and I just woke up and I missed out on things. I feel like I have been running all my life and I can’t catch up! Why does everything have to be done in a rush? This is a day in my life.

“Babe, it’s 6:30 a.m.! It’s time to get up now.” My husband says as he gets up to go the bathroom.

“Ugh! I don’t want to get up!” I say, as I cover my face with the pillow. I know I have to get up because if I don’t the kids won’t get up either. Then for sure we’ll be running late, as usual!

My neck feels stiff. I know I have to stretch out, but I get up and go downstairs instead. As I am walking out of my bedroom I yell out “come on kids, it’s time to get up, it’s almost 7 o’clock.” I can hear them stirring but they make no effort to get up. My daughter is still wrapped around her blanket. My son’s blanket is all over the floor and he’s spread out like an eagle.

I go downstairs and while my husband puts a pot of coffee on, I have to hurry to let the dogs out and fill their bowls with food and water.

I look at the clock. Oh, no, it’s 7:20 already! How could that be? The kids are waiting for their breakfast. I give them the quickest meal (heat up some French toast in the microwave or cold cereal). Will I ever get up early enough to give them a real hearty homemade breakfast?

While the kids are finishing their breakfast, I drink (more like swallow) a cup of coffee (I don’t know how many times I’ve burned my tongue and the roof of my mouth!). I know I have to get in the shower no later than 7:30. I’m thinking, hurry, hurry…. I have to get in the shower! Other times, if the kids don’t get up after a few “come on get up, we’re going to be late!” then everyone ends up having a stressful morning rushing out the door to get to school and work. And I know I have to catch my train or else I’ll miss it and be late for work.

By the time I get to work, I’m already stressed out. And to boot, when I get there, everything is urgent! Hurry, hurry, this has to get done now! This is quite urgent! I have a million and one things to do and they require immediate attention. Sometimes I wish I were an octopus so that I can finish it all at once! When I finally get to go to lunch (I get half hour) what do I do? If I don’t bring my lunch (which usually I don’t – believe me I’ve tried and it has not worked for me), I have to pick up something to eat. By the time I wait for the elevator, go down the elevator and pick a place to go eat, I’m already running out of time. Hurry… hurry….I have to get back to work! Since I only have coffee for breakfast, by lunchtime I’m feeling pretty hungry. When I sit down to eat, I eat so fast that when I look down my plate I’m like, “where’s my food?” I can’t believe I already finished it! And I don’t even know if I actually tasted the food! I can’t remember the last time I actually sat down and enjoyed a meal.

I get back to my desk to find another pile of work that’s urgent (it needs to go out before the end of my day). Nothing can wait, hurry, hurry….! When it’s finally time for me to leave, I walk out the door feeling drained. I’m yawning all the way to the train station to catch my train (the only good thing about the train ride is I actually get to enjoy reading a book even though half the time I’m falling asleep!).

Once I pick up the kids from school, we have to hurry to get home so that the kids can eat and start their homework. (we especially have to rush when they have practices or games). My daughter always has a lot of homework and has had trouble with some of the assignments. She’s good at taking notes, being neat and organized, but she still has trouble studying. She’s tried different ways to do it and as of yet, we still haven’t found the right study guide for her. My husband has no patience for it. He does not like explaining more than once, and when he sees that she is not “getting it” he loses his patience and starts getting angry with her. When I tried helping her, I practically end up doing her homework and that’s not good either! This creates so much tension between us. Thank goodness, a friend of ours has been kind enough to help tutor her. I am so glad! I believe it’s going to help her a great deal. I certainly hope so!

My son, he never seems to have any homework. He says he completes most of it at school. He’s like a sponge; he picks up on things quickly, especially when it peeks his interest. On the other hand, he’s total opposite of my daughter -- he’s sloppy! He’s had some missing assignments or late homework because he stuffs everything inside his backpack and/or he forgets to put his assignment in his homework folder. And when he does not understand an assignment or he does not like what he’s working on, he closes up, gets angry and upset. When I try to explain to him what I think he should be doing, he does not want to hear it. He’s very stubborn. So by the time we finish up for the day, I end up getting angry and upset with him too.

And housework, oh, that’s a whole other story. Unfortunately, I don’t have a dishwasher, so when I do dishes, I feel like I wash a hundred of them. Oh, those dirty dishes never seem to go away! That goes for my dirty laundry too. I finally give up!

I literally feel exhausted. I have no more energy. I am feeling tired, upset with myself because I know I need to change things….

I need help! Any suggestions, I will gladly take them.

Well, I have to get back to finishing my laundry. I’ll see if I can finish those darn dishes too! But I can’t promise it!