Last night we went to one of the best Halloween parties ever. My sister went all out for this one. She put straw all over the house (it’s going to be a bitch trying to clean that up!) She decorated the walls with glow in the dark markers; fake bugs and cobwebs. She had a skeletal punch bowl with a drink that looked like real blood and, of course, the skeleton goblets. It was just awesome! We got there about 8 o’clock and there were only a few people. My sister was starting to worry that no one was going to show up. But by 10 o’clock they started trickling in… a couple here, and a group of people there, pretty soon the house was filling up quickly. Within moments, the house was full of people. Some went outside to the backyard where my sis and her boyfriend had also decorated with tombstones, ghosts, and a ghoul hanging from a tree.
Everyone came dressed up in all sorts of cool, scary and even funny costumes. My sister was dressed like the scarecrow from “Jeepers Creepers”; my sister’s boyfriend was dressed as the scary guy from “Texas Chain Saw Massacre”. He would hide by the doorway and when people came in he would pop out and turn on his fake chain saw (that sounded like a real chainsaw) and scared the living crap out of everyone! I wish I had a video camera to record the funny and scared expressions on everyone’s face when they heard the chain saw roar!
But the best costume would go to my other sister. She wore one of “Martin Lawrence” character… “Otis the Security Guard.” She was so hilarious. She had the moves… she really played up on that character. And when "Otis" saw a girl on sexy costume, "he" would say to them, "Ho’d on a minute… I have the right to search." And "he" began feeling up on them. Then "he" would say, "Damn girl… you’re scrumftious! " (as he licked his fingers.) "Ol' Otis" had everyone laughing!
Later, I joined my hubby, who was outside with my two kids, and a couple of friends who were getting ready to go home. And sure enough… we had a visitor…someone had called the cops to complain about the loud music (they had a DJ) and yes the music was playing loud! The good thing was that the officer was nice. He soon realized that it was a Halloween party and he just gave us a warning. As he was talking to my hubby, “Otis the Security Guard” comes out… oh, shit! What is "he" going to pull next? “Ol’ Otis” comes up to the officer and says, “Man why you all up on ma terratory?” I’m nashional sicuraty (as she's flashing her fake badge)! I hope you're not goin' to tow ma car, we’re second cuzins man...I’m almost a sherwiff you kno', I’m gettin’ there. I got everythin’ unda contro’. You’re embarrassin’ me man! Yeah, I kno’ you got a gun. I got one too... I just left it inside because I came outside to take a piss." The officer looked at her and you could tell he wanted to bust out laughing, but he was pretty smooth and in control...he just smiled. She then said to him, “Bro, be cool… I’m Five O, you and I are family!” and she proceeded to show him a little dance move and wriggled her big ol’ butt at him. The officer couldn’t help it and he soon began to laugh with us. The officer then said to "Ol' Otis", "you should come over to my station." And “Otis” responded, “Well call me… we’ll talk it ova’ coffee and doe nuts."
You had to be there….it was so funny!
While all this was happening, more and more people were showing up for the party. After the officer gave his warning and left, we too decided it was time to go. They did turn the music down a little bit. I wonder how many more people came by and how late they stayed up partying. I just hope they didn’t get another visit from the cops!
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