desperate housewife...

I can’t believe that Christmas has come and gone and pretty soon we will be celebrating New Year’s.  The sad thing is that that too will soon be over!  My goodness...where does time go?

My vacation is almost over and I’m feeling like I haven’t even been on vacation at all.  I’m grateful that I’m off of work but at the same time --is it really time off when you spend it at home cleaning, cooking, and taking care of kids?  

Seems to me like I spend all my time washing dishes, laundry and cleaning.  No matter how much I try to keep the house in order and get the kids to help me out, it doesn’t make a difference.  

And if and when I have a little free time, I like to check my e-mails and work on the computer for a little bit.  But when I do, I get the guilty trip from my kids… “Why are you on the computer?  You should spend time with us!”  I love my kids, but when I do spend time with them, I find myself getting frustrated because they begin bickering over little things.  

I don’t spend enough time with my hubby as it is.  He’s always too busy with work and other things he’s involved in.  We’ve argued over this a few times already.  Why can’t I be more understanding?  Why do I have to feel so frustrated and alone?  

I’m feeling stressed!  I need to learn how to better organize my time, my day and my life!  

I think I’m going to need another vacation from my “vacation”!

Santa's...cows...?

We went over to my mom’s house on Christmas Eve. We all got together there before we walked over to my brother’s to have dinner at his house.

The girls looked so cute dressed alike in their Christmas outfits that my sister got for them. The ladies also looked pretty nice. We included an item of clothing and/or jewelry that had the same color as the girls so we could also match. We then each put on our reindeer headbands...

Anyone who knows my brother well knows to expect sharp-tongued comments and remarks from him. And we knew we were in for it because we do these things to egg him on!

And sure enough, as soon as we walked in the door, with my hubby following us bellowing like a herd of cattle, the remarks started coming...

Brother: “Hey are you suppose to be reindeer or ox?”

Me: “Come on, we’re Santa’s reindeer…Dasher,
Prancer, and Vixen…!”

Brother: “Vixen!” “You’re no Vixen!”
“You’re all moo moos!”

Everyone starts laughing…!

Brother: “I didn’t know what to give you for Christmas.
I wanted to give you a gift that would last you
at least a month.”

G.F.: “Oh, how nice, anything will do.”
“But, what do you mean by it will last me a
month?” “What did you want to give me?”

Brother: (A serious face) “Yeah, I had a hard time
deciding whether to get you a bale of hay
or sack of maiz (corn)!”

G.F.: (Punches Brother in the arm) You jerk!


Later…

G.F.: “I would like to taste some of that pozole.”
“It looks good!”

Brother: “Sorry, but moose only eat alfalfa!”
“Damn! I knew I should have bought some
grass to feed the cows!”


And when we walked towards him (pretends to be a “matador”) and yells out, “Olé!”

Ah, my little brother… I could just kick his ass!

It’s all in good fun and he just loves to make fun of us. But the funny thing is he should be the one to look in the mirror!

Christmas spirit...

Every year, my sister takes the five girls in our family to buy them a Christmas dress, which they choose and dress alike.

This year, as two of the girls are getting older, it was harder to find a dress that they all agree to wear and it’s not too “baby” for the older ones. Finally, they all agreed on wearing a pair of black slacks with fine lines of baby blue and a baby blue (shimmering) sweater.

We are all going to meet at my mom’s house as she is making tamales. Mmmmm!

After that, we are walking over to my brother’s house, which is only three houses down and celebrate Christmas Eve with them. They are having not only tamales, but “pozole” (which is a soup made with either chicken or pork and hominy), and menudo.

As I have been on vacation, my mom, two sisters and I went out shopping for shoes and we agreed that the adults should also wear something with baby blue to look the same as the kids. I also bought us each a reindeer head band and jingle bells bracelets.

We all got in a grab bag (as the family keeps growing). But it seems like everyone is still giving each other something from Christmas. My sister calls me up and says, “I bought you a little gift. I hope you like it.” I’m giving her a speech as to the “Why did you buy me a gift if I’m not the person you got for the grab bag”! (Even though it’s supposed to be a surprise, everyone finds out whom they got for their grab bag) “What’s the point in being in a grab bag if you are still buying gifts for everyone?” And as she’s about to explain, I say… “O.k., so what did you get me?” She starts to laugh…

We were finally getting into the Christmas spirit. I went to the basement and pulled out my boxes with the Christmas decorations. The kids decorated the tree and I decorated our living room and dining room. It looks so pretty…!

But as the day gets closer, it seems that our nerves are running high and we are stressing over little petty stuff. Everyone is starting to argue with each other. And my kids have really disappointed me this year. They have been misbehaving and fighting with each other. They don’t listen when asked to do something… basically they are driving me crazy!

I remember when we were kids, we tried like crazy to be “little angels” so that Santa would come and give us presents. Now, it seems like they really don’t appreciate it anything. I hate to say this but they are too spoiled. I am considering not giving them any presents this year just to teach them a lesson. Is that wrong? Am I being a “bad” mother for saying/thinking this? It’s the day before Christmas and I can hear them arguing over nothing…

Let’s see how things turn out this evening….

X-mas party...aloha...!

(December 16, 2005)

Friday morning was hectic. We woke up late! We were up and about and rushing like maniacs trying to get the kids and ourselves ready for school and work. I was up late on Thursday night so I felt like I didn’t get enough sleep and woke up tired, sore and achy.

And just as I was getting ready, my son complains that his throat hurts and he began to cough. Oh, no…! He already missed a few days because he went with his dad on a mini-vacation and the Christmas vacation is a few days away. I was about to call in sick when my hubby said. “I have to take care of a few things first before I can come home early to be with him so in the meantime, I’ll get Cynthia to take care of him for a couple of hours. You go ahead… today is your last day at work.”

I had to rush because it was already late so I showered and got dressed quickly. Didn’t have time to drink a cup of coffee or anything. By the time I got to the train station, I already had missed my train. And when I finally got the next train, they were experiencing technical difficulties! This was going to be a bad day!

I got to the office and my boss was there. He didn’t say anything to me so I quickly took of my coat and realized that I had forgotten the jacket that went with my outfit! Oh, no…!!!! Now that meant that I couldn’t cover my big butt!! Aaah!!!!

I got busy with my work (and of course everything was urgent!) and had to be completed before we left the office at noon to go to our Christmas party. I was really feeling stressed. I kept thinking to myself, I should have just taken the day off!

Finally it was time to go to our party. This year they had a theme…Hawaiian Luau. When we arrived (freezing, as it was extremely cold!) they greeted us with a Hawaiian lei and a flower to pin on our hair (for the ladies). The set up was really nice and colorful. And the waiters were going around serving wine/beer or Mai Tai and o'deurves. The food was different because they actually served fish and filet mignon together. We got to taste both and it was delicious!

When we finished with our meal, they had a group of children from an elementary school sing different ethnic Christmas songs for us. When the children were done, they also had a band playing music from the islands. It was really great!

Then came the fun part (or more like the most embarrassing moment of my life!)

The employees (who worked 5, 10, 15 and 25 years) were honored and given a gift in appreciation for their loyalty and hard work. The employees for the five-year award were called and they had to come up on stage. Mr. “S” gave a little speech about each one (three things to know about so and so as far as outside activities goes).

OMG! I knew I was getting the 10 years award so that meant I had to get up on stage! ME ON STAGE!!!! In front of all those people! I thought, o.k. calm down, no big deal, there will be a couple of other employees up on stage with me so it won’t be too bad.

When he finished introducing the 5-year group, he continued on and called out my name. I got up and went up on stage. I tried not to focus on anyone and tried like hell to relax and not feel too embarrassed. O.k. He’ll call on others soon, just relax. But of course, this was not the worst part… the person that was honoring me, said since I was the only 10-year employee, he was going to spend a little more time talking about me! OMG! I thought I was going to die!

He proceeded to mention my nickname (which nobody knows except for my family and close friends). I soon felt my face turn red! He said “Gris” which is pronounced “Greece”. I thought, OMG, I’m not happy that I’m up here and feeling exposed but now they know my nickname and they’re probably thinking more like “grease” (yeah, fits the nickname!)

Gris is an avid reader of paperback books (especially V.C. Andrews), which her husband uses to start the fire in the fireplace (p.s. he said I shouldn’t tell her)...(laughter from the audience).

And to boot this whole thing turns into a little game….

If you can pick out who may know a title of one of her books (he pulls out two books by V.C. Andrews), she could win a book and you win a book. So I picked someone I knew who was raising her hand and she answered “Flowers in the Attic”. That’s correct!

Gris loves to sing to Juan Gabriel songs (popular Mexican singer). He asked the audience, “Does anyone know who Juan Gabriel is?” Only three or four people raised their hands (my Hispanic friends). So he pulls out a two pack CD of Juan Gabriel and says to me, “If you can pick out the person who knows one of Juan Gabriel’s songs with the word “money” in the title, he/she will win this CD.” So I picked “Maria” who immediately answered “No Tengo Dinero” (which means “I don’t have money”, one of JG first popular songs in the 70’s). Everyone laughs and she wins the CD.

He mentioned a few things about how I was the epitome of soccer, baseball and softball mom and each summer they can find me helping out in the concession stand and how I love to karaoke and a enjoy a good glass of wine.

“The last and final thing to know about Gris (as the drummer in the back is doing the drum roll…) She and her son are Cubs fans, while her husband and daughter are White Sox fans. Her husband and daughter have taken to calling them Losers, with a capital “L” on the forehead.” (Laughter). He pulls out a Cubs cap and says, “Pick someone who might know this fact about the Cubs”. Everyone was like “Pick Tim! Pick Tim!” So I picked “Tim” and he said, “If you can tell me when was the last time the Cub’s won a championship game…!” Everyone booed… And before “Tim” could answer the question, he throws the Cubs cap at him. Everyone was laughing and booing.

It was finally over! I quickly went for the stairs to get off the stage, and as nervous as I was, I almost missed them! I’m sure I was redder than a tomato!

This year's trip giveaway was to Hawaii. Unfortunatley, I did not win! :(

Oh, and I just couldn’t wait to get home and kill my husband!!!!

I hate shopping...!

I’ve been trying to go shopping for something to wear to our office Christmas party and haven’t been able to do so.  I’m always doing things at the last minute.  I can’t go shopping after work because I have to go directly to the school to pick up the kids.  It’s hard to go during the week…by the time we get home from work/school, kids, homework, dinner, etc., the stores are already closed.  

My hubby had told me yesterday that he would go pick up the kids so I could go shopping…and that didn’t work.   He ended up being too busy so again I didn’t go. Today, I finally told him he had to make some time to pick up the kids.  I really had to go buy myself something to wear.  I did check my closet first to see if I could find something.  I really didn’t want to go shopping and spend money if I didn’t have to.  Believe me, I’m not one to shop.  In fact, I hate shopping (at least when it comes to me).  I don’t mind shopping for others…but not for ME.  I get so depressed because there are so many cute clothes I could wear… but I’m either not comfortable, not my style or I’m too big to wear those clothes.   I hardly ever buy myself anything.  My sisters always end up buying them for me and sometimes I end up never wearing them because again, I don’t feel comfortable… I feel like I have to cover up my big buddy.  They tell me I should ‘t do it because it actually make me look bigger.

Work was business as usual.  I was surprised when my coworkers and my boss gave me presents!  That was very nice of them!  They were quite a few presents that I had to carry them in two bags!  I knew I had to go shopping and I didn’t want to leave the bags at work and I definitely didn’t want to have to carry them tomorrow.   Carrying those bags while shopping was a big mistake.  They were not light and as time passed they seem to get heavier and heavier!  I went to a couple of stores and I immediately became aggravated:  (1) I was getting tired of carrying those bags and the lady at the counter said she couldn’t keep them for me while I shop; (2) there were too many things to chose from (which I hate because I can’t ever decide on anything!) and (3) it was crowded and there were long lines at the register.  

Forget this!  I give up!  I can honestly say…. I HATE SHOPPING!!!!! Especially during the holidays!  I can’t believe it took me two hours and I didn’t buy myself anything.   How frustrating!  

I finally called my sister to ask her if she would go with me after she got out of work.  THANK YOU SIS!  She’s great!  I don’t know what I would do without her!  She can always help me pick out something nice (she quickly stops me when I’m about to pick out something that’s too big, to old looking or ugly).   She helped me pick out two nice blouses (now I have to decide which one to wear for tomorrow).  I decided on wearing pants with it.  I haven’t worn skirts or dresses in so long that I don’t feel comfortable wearing them anymore!  

I hope I can get it together.  I’m so tired and sore at this time (from carrying those bags and last night I also shoveled snow from our front porch, stairway and walkway!).  I don’t know how I’m going to manage getting up tomorrow!  And to boot, I’ve been stressed out that I got a big pimple on my chin!  Yuck!  

lonely...

Again I find myself alone…alone in the sense that I miss talking to someone other than my kids.  My hubby has been very busy with his business and, of course, now with a new position he got elected into, I feel like I hardly ever see him anymore.  It’s starting to get old and it’s only beginning.  

It hurts me that he’s spending too much time doing other things and with other people, even though I know they are for the better.   Don’t get me wrong, he does try to include me on some things, but I honestly don’t want to be part of it.  I don’t mind helping out once in a while but I can’t do it everyday.  I’m having a hard time running my own household as it is.  

When he gets home, I’m usually already in bed.  I know he feels ignored, because when he gets home, he wants to find me up and ready to talk about his day and I’m just too damned tired (and at times too angry) to listen.  Then, I feel guilty because I’m being a “bitch” and I should be there for him.  

I know he works hard and he’s tired too.  So why can’t I be more supportive?  Am I really that selfish?

  

give me a little confidence...

I was feeling crappy yesterday and didn’t feel like doing much around the house. So instead, I spent all my time on the computer downloading my pictures from a CD.

After awhile, I got bored and decided to try out my digital camera. I began by taking pictures of me. I’ve been so down and out lately about myself. And, of course, I haven’t been doing anything as far as exercising and keeping with a diet either. I figured if I take a picture of myself, I can see the real me and how awful I look and just maybe it would help me push myself to do something. Unfortunately, as of yet, I can’t download my pics from my digital camera to my computer. I think I need a new computer!

Funny thing is that, after taking a few pictures of myself, a couple of them actually came out pretty decent. In fact, better than I ever imagined. I decided to go a little further with this and took a picture of my belly…and again to my surprise I didn’t look fat… I think I actually looked thinner in the picture than in real life, so I took this even further and exposed not only my belly but a little of my boobs too! OMG! I couldn’t believe what I was doing… what has gotten into me…! Looking at myself like that…! Even though I must admit, they actually came out nice… I decided it was best to delete them…in case it got in the wrong hands! When my hubby came home, I told him what I had done and showed him the pictures. He was amazed and freaked out, as this is not typical of me. He said he would have loved to been able see the other pictures that I deleted. Maybe next time, when I get the nerve to do it again!

I don’t know why, but after seeing those pictures, it made me feel a little better about myself…and gave me a little boost of confidence.

Later, we got ready and went bowling. I’m not a good bowler as I’ve only bowled maybe a total 10 times in my lifetime. But I can honestly say, I had a good time. Afterwards, we were supposed to go to my aunt’s birthday party but it continued snowing last night and we decided to stay at the bowling alley instead. We ate there and soon it was karaoke time! I actually got the nerve to go up and sing (if you can call it that!) in front of strangers! Could you believe it? But I had fun doing it! ;)

moody...

It’s 11:30 a.m. and I just got out of bed. I was awake since 7 but it’s one of those days where I just don’t want to do anything. I’m feeling a little blue and I don’t even know why. I got up and the house is a mess! Again, don’t know where to begin. I guess I should start from the top and work my way down. I was getting ready to do so and saw that the computer was one, so I decided to blog instead. Have nothing much to say but complain…!

My little pinky finger hurts a lot. I don’t know if it’s from typing too much or what, but the knuckle hurts badly. I’m in a crappy mood and I’m not even on my period! Oh, well…!

I just learned from my hubby that we have bowling tonight. I should feel happy that we’re doing something together but like I said, I’m not really in the mood. And tonight we also have my aunt’s b-day party to go to. I guess I better get myself hyped up for it. I really hate feeling this way. I feel like I’m in some twilight zone and I just want to crawl in a hole for awhile and stay there until it’s all over. The bad thing is that I get all bitchy and moody that I can’t even stand myself, let alone other people.

Must think positive…must think happy thoughts….

winter wonderland...

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…! Christmas trees and Christmas lights…and
when I got off of work today, it started snowing. By the time I got to the school to pick up the kids, it was like a blizzard! I mean that snow was coming down. Everything was covered in a blanket of white snow. It actually looked beautiful. The first fallen snow always does.

Everything has been moving slow, including traffic. What would take us 10 minutes became 20 to 30. So of course, my son did not make it to his band recital. I feel bad for him but, honestly, he missed the last few practices and yesterday’s rehearsal so he might as well miss the recital too. Oh, well, he has a good excuse.

I looked out the window and it’s still snowing! Let’s see how much snow actually comes down. There will be a lot of snow shoveling and stuck cars tomorrow, that’s for sure!


At least it’s not as cold as yesterday. Oh, and by the way, today I got my gas bill…it came out to a whopping $489!!!!! I almost fell of my chair!

I may have to lower the heat to 50 or 60 degrees and wear coats inside the house! Geeze! And we’re barely in the beginning of December. Winter here does not end until March! Yikes!!!! What am I going to do?!!!

it's only the beginning...

I’ve been extremely busy at work this week.  And it’s only going to get worse.  That’s because the holidays are near and after next week, I will be on vacation until January 3.  My boss has been nervous because clients want things done before the New Year and so he wants to make sure that I get certain things completed before I leave on vacation.  Oh, I know it!  It’s gonna get crazy!

I just found out my son had band rehearsal today---a little too late now!  Apparently he is going to have his recital tomorrow.  How come I’m barely finding this out?  He’s already missed a few days of practice because he kept forgetting to take his instrument and then he went on a trip for a week and missed a couple more days.  So I don’t know if he should even go to his recital.  

Last year, he really wanted to play the saxophone.  We decided to get him in band.  But recently, he hasn’t been wanting to practice or anything.  Seems like he lost interest in it.  I’ve asked him several times and constantly have to yell at him over it but he just doesn’t want to do it.  I’m wondering why I even keep him in band.  It does cost money, which I could probably be using for other things.

A couple of years ago he was taking piano lessons and he was doing well.  But during that time, we didn’t own a piano.  And since he wanted to play the sax instead, I didn’t get him into piano lessons.  And, of course, now that we have a piano at home, he loves to practice playing it.  I don’t know if I should continue with his sax lessons or not.  Maybe I should just get him into piano lessons instead.  Unfortunately, he will not be able to keep his saxophone unless we pay for it.  Ugh!  What to do???

It’s been very cold and I mean cold!!!!  I can’t stand this weather anymore.  And this is only the beginning…!  I’m not even that old and I’m already feeling it!  My hands, especially, have been feeling it.  I don’t know but they almost feel foreign to me.  They feel heavy and my knuckles and joints have been hurting.  Please Lord, don’t let it be arthritis…that’s one of my biggest fears!

My husband wants me to turn up the heat, but it’s already at 70 degrees and the house still feels cold.  I’m just waiting for my gas bill.  I know it’s going to be a lot of $$$!!!!!

Well, gotta go now.  I’m going to drink some tea to keep warm.  

  

home for the holidays...!

I haven’t had time to get on the computer lately.  I’ve been so busy.  Last week, my hubby and my son took a mini vacation.  They left last Tuesday and came back on Sunday evening.  I’m glad they’re back but it almost seemed like they never left.  Before I knew it, they were home!

I know my hubby wasn’t too happy to get back.  It has been so cold!

Last week, I spent too much time on the computer trying to figure out how to download my pictures from my new digital camera.  And, I ended up spending three hours on the phone with a Kodak representative.  She finally told me that it was not the digital camera or the software that had the problem, but my computer.  For some reason, even though the software indicates that the download was complete and successful, when I try to download the pictures, it indicates that the “device or camera is not connected”, even though it is!  I’m still upset over this!  I don’t know what to do!

I had promised my daughter that I would not be on the computer and that we would do things together.  And on the second night, I prepared a nice dinner for the two of us to enjoy.  But this is how it went:  

Me:     Dinner is ready!  Let’s sit and have a nice dinner together.
D:     Can I go and eat in the living room instead so I can watch t.v.?
Me:     No.  I want us to have a quiet dinner.  
D:     But I want to watch t.v.
Me:     What about us talking and spending time together.
D:     Mom… but you’re boring!
Me:     Gee, thanks!

Yes, I was hurt!  My teenager thinks I’m boring …!

I finally sat her down and had a little talk with her.  She said to me that she was upset because she didn’t get to go with my husband and son.  I told her that it was their father and son trip together.  Plus, since she was having trouble with her grades, I told her she couldn’t afford to take that kind of time off.  I told her we needed to plan for our next mother/daughter trip.  She wants to go to Hawaii… how fun!  Maybe next year!

So for the rest of the week, we spent time doing things together. Unfortunately, it was too cold to do much, especially go downtown, like she wanted to.  Over the weekend she volunteered at the school so it kept us busy.    

I took my little niece with us on Sunday for “Tea with Santa”.  While my daughter was helping the little children with the arts/crafts, my niece was making different Christmas ornaments.  She had so much fun doing so.  Then came Santa….she was so excited and happy to see him!  I took her to take a picture with Santa.

Santa:  “Hello, and what is your name?”
Niece:     “My name is Italee.”
Santa:     “And what would you like for Christmas Italee?”
Niece:     “I want for everyone to believe in you Santa.”
Santa:   (I don’t think he expected that response!) He smiled and said, “Why, thank you!  
             And do you believe in me?”
Italee:     “Yes, Santa, I believe in you!”

She was so happy to have met Santa!  She turned around and said to me, “This is the best day of my life!”

My gosh!  Time is really flying!   Weren’t we just getting ready for Thanksgiving?  I got reminded today that our Christmas party at work is next Friday.  Next Thursday is my last day at work since I’m taking two weeks off for the holidays.  We originally planned to go out of town but apparently, I was told that maybe our family from NM are coming down to spend Christmas here instead.  

I’m actually looking forward to attending the X-mas party... maybe I should not take that Friday off so as not to waste a vacation day.  Every year, they give out a free trip…maybe, if I’m lucky, I will win!  But I have to be there to win.

Now, my hubby mentioned to me that the family is probably not coming after all.  So, I don’t know if we are going or staying!  

And since we had mentioned to our friends that we were not going out of town, they are looking forward and are already planning on having a New Years party at our house.  

I don’t know… with us, it’s always last minute things….we’ll see…!