How do you spell relief...?

I finally called the doctor today to schedule an appointment.  For about a week now, I’ve had pain down my neck and shoulder.  I don’t know whether I have a pinch nerve or it’s something else.  But my neck feels a little stiff and there is some tingling going on.  I’ve had trouble sleeping due to the pain.  I can’t handle the pain anymore…!    

I wish my doc would recommend that I get a therapeutic massage or get some type of therapy.   A couple of years ago, I was going to a chiropractor but honestly, I rather get a massage instead.  Although I’ve heard from several people today that acupuncture works wonders.  I may even consider that option if nothing else helps.   I just need some form of relief without having to take medications.  

After work, stiff neck and all, I decided to go get my pictures downloaded to a CD.  As I entered the store, I heard an old man in crutches having a loud discussion with the store manager as he was in line at the cash register (he might have been a homeless guy).  Because of him, there was a long line of customers waiting to purchase their items.  I continued to walk into the store and went over to the photo section to use a Kodak machine so I could purchase my picture CD.  

While waiting for my pictures to download, I heard the old man getting closer as his voice got louder and louder and before I could turn around to see what was going on (due to my stiff neck), he got too close to me and literally pushed me hard (with his elbow).  So I got pinned between the Kodak machine and the old man.  It happened so quickly that I did not have time to react.  Lucky for me, nothing happened.  I finally turned to see the guy and he was still walking and talking loudly as the store clerk (who was walking him out) turned to me and apologized.  Usually when things like that happen, I tend to get nervous, but at that point, I was more worried about my neck.  

So how do you spell relief..?  I DON’T CARE …!   JUST GIVE IT TO ME!!!

you can say it, but can you spell it...?

Conversation between the kids as they were eating pizza:

Beebo: “That’s absurd.”

Deming: “Man, Beebo uses big words everyday.”

Beebo: As they continued with their conversation he blurts out… “sodium chloride!”

Deming’s
friend: “I bet you don’t even know what it means.”

Beebo: “That’s salt!”

Deming’s
Friend: “But can you spell it?”

Beebo: “S-A-L-T”

Everyone laughs!

...

As I am standing waiting for my train, a young pregnant girl (in her late teens or early twenties) comes up to me and says in a low and raspy voice... "Can I ask you a question?" I turn to look at her and she's either not feeling well or she's on some kind of drugs. She says, "Do you have spare change so my baby and I can eat?" For a split second, I felt sorry for her and almost dug into my purse to get some change, but my train was coming and I said to her, "Sorry, I don't have any."

And every day for the past week or so she continues to come up to me (and to everyone else whose standing around) asking for money for food. It's terrible knowing that she uses her pregnancy as part of her trick to get money from people. A couple of times, I've seen an older guy talking to her (he looks like he's part of this little scheme) and she begins her rounds.

Today, for the first time, I felt a mixed emotion of sorrow and disgust. But the one person I truly felt sorry for is the little baby she is carrying inside of her. The young girl was smoking a cigarette as she went around asking for money. So not only is she smoking while she's pregnant, but you know she's a junkie and is using whatever money she gets for drugs.

If you don't care about yourself that's one thing, but then why bring an innocent child into this world? How can you continue what you are doing while being pregnant? The poor little baby is going to come into this world with serious problems and addictions and who knows where it may end up. This baby doesn't deserve this.

It's so sad.. just thinking of how many pregnant girls are out there doing the same not only to themselves but to their babies.

sun plate...

It's practically the middle of June but the past few days have felt like the beginning of fall. It's been cloudy and cold! Instead of getting out the shorts and tank tops, we've been pulling out our sweaters and jackets! So much for putting the winter clothes away.

What's up with that? Where's the sun?

She's come home...!

Yay! We found my pet Coqueta!

The pound had called us yesterday to let us know they had her, but we were out and didn't get the message until last night. My hubby went to pick her up this morning. They found her last Sunday a few blocks down the street.

The kids and I are so happy to see her back and well. Welcome home my baby girl!

coqueta...where are u?

I’m so sad…!

Our pet Coqueta of 14 years is missing! The night before last, I let her out in the yard to pee and when I opened the door to let her back in, she was gone. I called out her name several times, but didn’t see her anywhere.

My kids went out looking for her but soon got late and and they had to come inside to go to bed. We’ve been searching for her ever since and as of yet still haven’t found her. We called the vet’s office and the dog pound in hopes that someone found her and turned her in. No such luck!

She’s not one to run away. I’m beginning to worry about her. I’m hoping she finds her way back home. She’s up there in age and can’t hear very well.

I just hope it’s not too late and something bad has happened to her…!

Coqueta where are you?

how well do you know yourself...?

As I was riding the train on my way home from work, I saw an ad posted for Loyola University, which read:

“Know yourself first
Change the world second.”

It got my attention.  It got me thinking.   Hmmmmm, know yourself first.  How well do I know myself?  

Do I really know who I am?    I know my limits…at least I think I do.  But do I really know them if I haven’t been pushed hard enough?  What are my strengths and weaknesses?  Questions I hate because I don’t know how to answer them.  

Know yourself first… o.k. well, I’m… I… I don’t even know what to say.  Every time I try to put it into words… things about me… I draw blanks!  

The other day, one of my daughter’s friends asked me, “What did you want to be when you were growing up?”  I honesty didn’t know what to say.  Did I have dreams and hopes?  Did I ever think I would amount to anything?  I finally answered, “I wanted to be a flight attendant.”  Yeah… I think I wanted to be that.  At least it was one my choices.  

A long time ago in school, I was given a short questionnaire which contained questions about myself, i.e. what type of career I wanted to have, etc.   I knew kids who knew exactly what they wanted to be and where they were headed.  I kept going back and forth with my answers as to what I wanted to be and what kind of career I would choose.  I couldn’t make up my mind.  I didn’t think I could be a professional such as a lawyer or a doctor because I had to deal with people and I wasn’t confident enough to be able to make tough and serious decisions.  

I remember answering that I wanted to be an actress/model/dancer.  Of course, it was something I knew was not within my reach.  I loved to sing but I don’t have the voice for it.  I wanted to be a model but I was too short and didn’t have the skinny body.  I loved the movies and dancing so I thought I could be an actress and a dancer, and yet, I was too shy and embarrassed to even go onstage.  

I was…still am hopeless.  If I were to start all over, I still wouldn’t know exactly want I want to be.  I could never make up mind… I’m too indecisive.  I tend to be embarrassed easily and I have low self-esteem.  

Now that the kids are a little older, they seem to pay more attention.  I have to be careful… I don’t want my kids to grow up and be like me.  

So how can I possibly make a difference… especially in my children’s lives?

Try as I might, my only hope is that I am a good mother to them and that that in itself will make a difference.    

a poem for grandma...

As I was cleaning out a drawer, I came across a poem my daughter wrote a couple of years ago (I assume since it has no date) for her grandma on Grandparents Day.

A Poem for Grandma Jean.

by Deming

My grandma is so funny.
Her hair is fluffy like a bunny.
She has brown eyes.
Her eyes are medium size like mine.
She is my dad's mom
She is my mom's mom friend.
It's like friendship never ends.
She has tan skin just like my dad's.
She buys us toys.
So that's my silly dad's mom, buyer of toys, Grandma Jean.

Love,

Deming