Thursday, January 11, 2007

to remember you always...


I had been out of town for a couple of weeks and finally took some time to go through a pile of mail that was on the table.
As I was sorting through it, one piece of mail, in particular, caught my eye. It was sent from the Vet's office. I slowly opened the envelope. It was a sympathy card. I looked at the picture for a couple of seconds and began thinking about my beloved pet, Coqueta, and how much I missed her.
As I opened the card to read it, out came a piece of fur from my beloved pet tied in a red ribbon. My heart ached. I began to cry.

goodbye my pet...!


Coqueta
2/9/91 - 12/21/06
Goodbye to my sweet pet and loyal friend. You were always by my side. So many years together and now I turn around and you are no longer there. Oh, how I miss you so!
You will be forever in my heart.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

snow cacti


"Gris!", my husband yells out. "Kristy called and said to look out the window, it's snowing!" "Do I have to get up." I moaned, as it was early in the morning and we were still in bed. (I really didn't want to see snow... what I wanted to see was the sun!!!)
Beebo immediately gets up and rushes to the window. And to his disappointment says, "Ah, that's nothing!"
I got up to look out the window and there were several patches of snow on the ground and a few flakes were falling.
As we were eating breakfast, I glanced towards the window and realized I couldn't see out the window anymore. I assumed because it was cold outside. I opened the door and I freaked! I yelled out "Holy cow!" "It's really snowing!"
I've never seen so much snow in Las Cruces! If it wasn't for the cacti, I could have sworn we were in Chicago.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Friday, December 01, 2006

first snow...


This morning we woke up to the first day of snow.
The kids did not go to school. It was closed due to the weather. And of course, they couldn't hide their excitement about getting a snow day and be able to stay home. All I heard from them, as they were jumping for joy, was a big "Yes!" "Whoo hoo!" "No school!"
I, on the other hand, had to go to work. On the way there, I kept wishing I would have called in sick. After all, I had a good excuse...I am sick! But I knew I had to go. My boss gave me a big hint the other day about not missing work before I take my holiday time off.
So sick and all, I forced myself to go to work. Thank GOD it's only for a few hours and TGIF!!!

Thursday, November 30, 2006

A few weeks ago, I had been sick with a bad cough. Just when I thought I've gotten over it, this morning I woke up feeling worse. My nose feels stuffed and yet it's dripping like a faucet. I look like Rudolph the red-nose reindeer. It's raw from blowing my nose too much. My ears feel plugged but hey, at least my cough has subsided. This is the longest I've been sick. It's getting to be irritating!

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, we had really good weather. It was sunny, warm and it felt like spring. Now the temperature dropped and it's been drizzling all day. This morning I woke up to the weather report announcing that we're expected to have very cold weather and snow (6-12 inches)!

This past couple of weeks, I've been in contact with a few of my HS classmates. Since our HS class reunion is coming up next year, they've been wanting to get together to plan for this reunion. It's been several years since I've seen my friends. I am excited to get a chance to meet them again after all these years and yet...I am scared. Scared because... well you know... are they going to like me? I don't want them to see me like this...I've gained a lot of weight since HS. What are they going to think of me?

On my way to work, I began thinking about this meeting. We're supposed to meet later today after work. I began wondering what my friends look like now. What have they been up to? Soon, I began having these feelings of self-doubt and low self-esteem. I had all these thoughts running through my mind. Pretty soon I was feeling sorry for myself. Finding everything wrong that they could possibly find about me... my looks...my weight... etc. Do I look old? Being sick did not help matters.

As I was getting off the train, I saw a man talking to a person who appeared to be his friend. But what caught my eye was that he had a large dark mole covering half of his face. He did not appear to be self-conscious. He was smiling and happily talking to that person.

I continued walking down the street and came across another man. He was a handsome man except for one thing... when he turned, I saw that he had an enlarged mole or growth behind one of his ears. It was so big it looked like he had a gulf ball hanging from his ear. The man seemed not to have a care in the world and did not seem to mind or worry about how people looked at him and/or what they thought about him.

For a split second, I felt sorry for them and then I started thinking to myself, was this a sign from above? No... I shouldn't feel sorry for them. I was right to feel sorry for myself... only because here I am putting myself down and complaining. Imagine if that would have been me! It made me realize that I should be more grateful. No one is perfect. Be thankful for what you have and what you don't have (in most cases).

After making peace with myself, I thought about attending this meeting. Forget about how I look or what they are going to think about me. I need to quit worrying about that stuff and stop being this way! I should consider myself lucky.

But as time passed, I did not feel any better. I had no choice... so I e-mailed one of my classmates to tell her I was not going to be able to join them. In a way, I was looking forward to meeting them and yet, deep down, I secretly felt relieved being sick so that I had an excuse not to go.

Is this bad or what?!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

...

This morning I woke up feeling strange... more like I wanted to cry my heart out...and so I did (well, enough so as not to get noticed).

I got up and went downstairs to let my pet Coqueta out to pee. By the time I got to her her, she had an another accident. There was poop all around where she was laying. Since she stepped on it when she got up, she left poop paw prints all over the floor!

I was already in a hurry and I didn't want to be late for work. But I had no choice, I had to clean up the mess before I left. I got so upset! Not only did I had to clean up the mess, but I had to wash her too. It was so gross!

Before I knew it, I was in tears. Hot tears burning down my cheeks. Tears of anger...tears of pain...I don't know. As I turned to look at her, I saw it in her eyes... she too was sad and she knew I was unhappy. It made me feel even worse because I know it's not her fault.

Yesterday she was outside enjoying the nice weather. She was actually running around on the grass. Except for having her "accidents", she's doing great. But for some reason, she just can't go do her "duty" outside. It always happens when she's laying down. Is it fair to her and to me? What am I doing here? How long am I going to do this for? I know she's just a "dog". But she's been with us for 15 years! How can I not take care of her when she needs me? Am I doing the right thing?

I went back upstairs and as I was wiping my tears, my daughter sees me and turns to my son and asks him, "Why is mom crying?" My son replies, "I think she's depressed."

Depressed... yes, I'm starting to feel it. One more thing to add to things...and it's really breaking my heart...!

Monday, November 27, 2006

A note of thanks...




This is why I continue to keep our Thanksgiving tradition...

Sunday, November 26, 2006



For several years now, the tradition has been to host Thanksgiving dinner at our house. Even though our family has known this for years and have attended our Thanksgiving dinner each year, I still have certain members who complain about not having been sent an invitation (even though I never do) or not giving them enough notice (even though it's been talked about it weeks before).

As the years go by, the family keeps growing and growing...and my "big" house suddenly is becoming "smaller". To the point that for two years in a row now, we've had to move our dining room in the living room to accommodate everyone for a sit down dinner.

This Thanksgiving, we had to use two of our dining room tables and two picnic tables to be able to seat everyone at the dinner table. Not including the kids table! We were expecting a little over 25 adults and 15 children.

As the family keeps growing, it's becoming harder to seat everyone together on the same table or in the same side/section of the table. My dad, for the first time in years, actually showed up for dinner and we ended up moving a couple people around. In doing so, I ended up "offending" certain people either because they weren't seated in their "usual" spot or at the "head of the table" or because they were put next to someone they did not want to be seated next to.

When they were all asked to sit at their assigned seats, everyone began moving and reassigning their seats and by the time everyone got seated, some members had already started eating dinner before we even said grace. I heard some whispers of family members complaining about the food being "cold" and how they had to "serve themselves" or didn't get to eat some of the food. The food was set at the table and everyone passes the food around. I was the last one to sit down and did not even get to enjoy my dinner.
Every year, has been the same, so what made this year different? What did they expect...to be catered?! There was plenty of food for everyone to eat... and how did they expect me to have everything served hot right out of the oven?

I thought Thanksgiving was a time for families to celebrate a holiday and an opportunity to get together and enjoy a nice dinner and share their company. But apparently this was not the case. To me, it appeared to be just another excuse for people to get together and "complain/criticize" just about everything. It also became another excuse to "party".

My sister AC came over to my house the night before to make all the preparations for the Thanksgiving dinner and spent the whole day on Thanksgiving Day cooking. My other sister came to my house several times during the week to help me clean up and get the house ready for Thanksgiving. It took me two days after Thanksgiving to clean up the mess that was left over. The problem is that only a few people actually help clean and even so, in the end, I still end up doing most of the cleaning afterwards.

Hosting Thanksgiving dinner for a big family, took a lot of time, preparation and work... and for people to come criticize and complain... really pissed me off! There was just too much going on. It made me realize certain things.... and one of it was...is this worth the effort?

Thank goodness Thanksgiving comes just once a year. I overheard a family member suggesting having Christmas at my place.... ha! I don't think so!

I think one holiday is enough!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Coqueta...


It's been a week since Coqueta got out of the yard and got hit by a car as she attempted to cross a busy street.
Let me tell you, she's one amazing pup! I don't think she's ready to go! I can't believe how well she is doing, considering what happened to her and her age!
She walks around and, even though it's a little harder for her now to walk up and down the steps, she does it. Her back legs aren't as strong as they used to, and they tend to shake. On occasion, her hind legs give out as she tries to climb the steps, so I try to keep her from doing so.
The one problem she has encountered is a weak bladder and bowels. She has had a few little "accidents". I can tell she gets depressed when she does have an "accident" by the way she just lays there and looks so sad. I've had to wash her a couple of times and once I do, she is back to normal. I hope things will get better soon. It's been tough on both of us. Vet says it will.
I'm concerned that, as the weather gets colder, how is this going to affect her. I'm sure her bones are going to ache...hell my bones already do!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Monday, October 30, 2006

Here we go again...


Coqueta
Originally uploaded by Gris1.

Last night I asked my son to let Coqueta out to pee. He was doing something at the time and said he would do it a little later. In the meantime, I kept working on the computer.

After a while, my hubby asked where Coqueta was. I thought she was in the livingroom with him as she likes to sleep by the door. I asked the kids if they had seen her and they hadn't. We began looking for her all over the house (she's hard of hearing). In order to get her attention, we have to clap our hands loudly and give her hand signals. We checked the back yard and she wasn't there either.

My son had let her out and forgot to let her back inside the house. Since she stayed out for too long in the yard, she managed to get out of the gate by squeezing herself through the bars. By the time we noticed she wasn't in the house, it was too late. She was gone!

My son and I walked around the neighborhood looking for her. Since it was already after dark, we later decided to get in the car and see if we could find her in the alleys and streets. But Coqueta was nowhere to be found.

This morning I called the animal control to find out if they had picked her up. The lady said she wasn't aware of any pet fitting Coqueta's description. As I was riding the bus, headed for work, I called the vet's office to find out if someone had by chance found her and dropped her off there. As the receptionist checked, I got the good news that there was a possibility that Coqueta may have been picked up but at a different location.

Sure enough, it was her. When my hubby went to pick her up, they told her that she had been hit by a car. She was in bad shape when they found her last night. My hubby then took her to our vet's office.

I went to see her right after work. I can't believe she has survived this. She's 14 years old! The vet said that, at this time, there's not much they can do for her. She was alert and she attempted to walk, although a few times she kept slipping. You can tell her hip is hurt.

I'm so sad. She's been with us since she was two months old. I feel so guilty for not having paid more attention to her. Maybe if I would have gotten off the computer and gone to let her out, instead, this wouldn't have happened!

I don't know how much time she has left. She's been through a lot and she's old. For now, they are going to keep her until tomorrow for observation and she will be given medication.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

light...


light coming from the window
Originally uploaded by Gris1.

--mga

power outage...



Last month, we had a severe thunder storm and we had a power outage. Unfortunately, I had left my computer on and when the power went out the computer crashed!

The bad news...I lost everything! I never backed up my files!
The good news, I got upgraded to XP and my USB drive finally works so I can download my pics directly from my camera!

I'm glad my computer is up and running again. Especially, because my kids need to do research and type most of their written assigments on the computer. But most of all I'm glad for me, because I can check my e-mails and post my pictures!

red hair


I was washing my hands in the bathroom at work when one of my co-workers (an older woman) came in. She took a look at me and our conversation went something like this:

Co-worker: "OMG, what did you do to your hair!?"
Me: "I changed my color."
Co-worker: "It's bright red!"
Me: "I know."
Co-worker: Why did you do that for?"
Me: (looking at my reflection in the mirror I noticed that the lighting did make my hair look brighter) "That's the way it came out. I guess I wanted to try something new"
Co-worker: "It's too red! Oh, I don't know... you should change it, that color is what slutty girls are using!"
Me: (My jaw dropped) I guess that was the look I was foing for!

Friday, September 29, 2006

15 years ago today...

(9/28/06)  

This morning, I got out of bed a little earlier than usual.  I went to the kitchen and prepared a fresh pot of coffee and began cooking a hot breakfast.   Once the coffee was ready, I filled his cup and set the card next to it.  

I called out to him.  “Babe!  Come down, your coffee is ready!”  When he walked into the kitchen, he had a big grin on his face.  “Wow!  You got up early and made me breakfast!?”  He saw the card and instantly knew he had forgotten!  “What’s this?”  “Ah, don’t tell me… it’s not my birthday so….it’s our anniversary?!”  

He took off his wedding band which has our wedding date engraved (so he will never forget -- but apparently it’s been useless!).  “Oh, babe!”   “I thought it was tomorrow”

After 15 years, it doesn’t surprise me.  In fact, I didn’t mind at all that he had forgotten.  I should be used to it by now.  Is not to say that he always forgets.  He remembers most of the time.  When he actually manages to remember an important date, he’ll pretend he didn’t and ends up surprising me later in the day.  At other times, when he really does forget, he manages to surprise me with something or we end up doing something the next day or by the weekend.   Today, I was just happy that he gave me a ride to the train station so I wouldn’t get to work late!

As I rode on the train, I kept thinking to myself, OMG!  I can’t believe I’ve been married for 15 years!  How time flies!  I can honestly say it doesn’t seem this long.  And to think people thought we wouldn’t last a year!  Ha!  

How did we do it?  I don’t know.

Married life is not easy.  It’s more work than we’ll ever know.  There’s more to marriage than just love.  We’ve had some good times and bad.  All I kept thinking was that aside from love, I guess the trick to a long lasting marriage is working together and compromising.  Both of us have to be on the “same page” so to speak.  Even with our “huge” differences, we can still find our middle ground.     Marriage is a partnership.

It’s been a bumpy road but we’re still standing.  I hope to have many more good years to come!  

Happy Anniversary!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

son knows best...

My hubby and son were at the dinner table talking when my hubby suddenly says, “Oh shit! I just scratched the table.” He stops playing with his fork and looks at my son and says to him, “Do you realize that I’ve had this table since I was married to my second wife. It was one of the things that I got out of it”

I was in the kitchen washing dishes and hearing him say this, I asked my son, “Mijo, how do you feel knowing that your dad has had two previous marriages?” My hubby adds, “Yeah, mijo, what do you think about that, knowing that I was married to other women before your mother?”

My son turns to him and says, “I think they got off easy!”

Friday, September 15, 2006

CPR anyone...?

Posted by PicasaYesterday, my job offered a CPR training course, which I attended. And this year was a little bit different. For starters, there was less to remember (2 breaths and 30 compressions). Simple, as that! I don’t have to worry about anything else, except keep performing the CPR until paramedics arrive!

The class was approximately three hours long. As we watched a video on how to perform CPR and how use an automated external defibrillator or “AED” (a machine that analyzes the heart's rhythm and, if necessary, instructs the person using the AED to deliver an electrical shock to the victim to regulate his heart), we also got to practice what we learned on a dummy.

Here are the steps:

Step 1: Make sure the area is clear of any danger (you don’t want to be a victim yourself, i.e. getting hit by a car on the street)

Step 2: If the person looks unconscious, tap the person on the shoulders and try to get a reaction from him/her while asking, “Are you o.k.?” If no response, go to step 3.

Step 3: If you are alone, immediately call 911; get and/or yell for help; if there are people around, have them call 911 (and get the AED if one is available).

Step 4: While victim is lying on the floor, open the airway and check for normal breathing. You do so by tilting the head back, raise the chin up with two fingers. If not breathing, give two breaths (check for chest rising as you do so). Open his shirt to expose his chest. Place the palm of your hand on the chest (between the nipples) and set the other hand over it and begin with compressions. Give cycles of 30 compressions (count out loud so you don’t lose track or skip a beat) and 2 breaths. (Thing to remember…once you begin this process, you must continue to do so until AED or EMS rescuers arrive).

Step 5: Repeat Step 4 until someone brings out the AED, or someone can relieve you (who knows how to perform CPR) and/or when paramedics arrive (leave it to them to handle the rest).

After learning how to give CPR, the instructor showed us how to use the AED machine. It came with a pack that included a mouthpiece (to give CPR so you don’t have to do it directly on the person’s mouth), scissors (to cut out any clothing to expose the chest), an extra battery for the AED (in case batteries are low) and a razor. A razor? Yes, a razor! One is necessary in case the patches won’t stick due to a very hairy chest. So I raised my hand and asked, “Do you have to apply shaving cream or something?” Everyone laughs. The instructor responds, “No. Just shave enough on the chest area where you will be placing the patches until they stick.” Sounds simple enough!

The AED machine had two buttons, the “On” button and the “Shock” button. The only thing you have to remember is to turn it on. Once you do so, the AED uses voice prompts to instruct the rescuer. Easy right?

We again continued to practice what we learned on the dummy. I immediately took the pads out from the AED, and was about to place them on its chest, when I realized I had forgotten to turn on the machine. Oops!

Once it was on, I listened for instructions and tried to follow them. I managed to place the pads (directions shown on pads -- one on the right side of the chest and the other on the left side below the breast) and again waited for further instructions. When the machine finished analyzing the heart, it instructed me to press the button to give the person a shock, (which you're suppose to say “clear” before pressing the shock button so you don’t end up shocking someone who might be touching the victim and, of course, I went straight for the button and forgot to do so). There went my grade!

After performing the “shock”, the machine instructions were to start giving the person compressions (to which I went straight for the dummy’s mouth to perform CPR). The instructor yells out, “Compressions!”. Oops! Sorry! I started doing the compression and the instructor tells me, “Count out loud!” “One, two, three…” After the 30 compressions, I was sweating! That was exhausting! I can’t imagine doing that a few more times. It’s a lot of work!

We went over what we learned a few more times and had a question and answer session. The shaving of the chest was brought up again to which the instructor comments, “And no….you don’t have to oil him up” and one of my co-workers adds, “Yeah, bring out the shaving cream!” Everyone laughs. The instructor also says, “And remember after the AED gives the shock, it instructs you do to what?” “Compressions!” Everyone responds simultaneously as they turn to look at me!

After work I told my hubby of my experience and as I finished relaying my story, he had a smirk on his face and says, "Sounds to me like you wanted to give him a clean shave before you blew...his lungs out!" ; )

Thursday, September 14, 2006

things a mother won't (will) do... Part II

A few days ago, my son lost one of his molars.   Even though he’s getting a little older, we continue to talk about the tooth fairy.  My son claims, he “does not believe in the tooth fairy”, but the next morning, I caught him checking under his pillow to see if he had gotten anything from the fairy.  So much for not “believing’.  As I began to reminisce, it put a smile on my face.  My son’s still a little boy at heart (he’s growing up so fast and soon all this would be just a memory).

When I finally snapped out of my thoughts, I soon realized I had completely forgotten about leaving something under his pillow!  How could I have forgotten?  There goes another check mark on my report card for “bad parent.”    

The next evening, I was already in bed sleeping when suddenly my eyes opened and I remembered!  Ahhh!  I forgot again!   I quickly got out of bed and went to go check on him.  He was sound asleep.  I slowly felt under his pillow (trying not to wake him) and found the tooth.   Oh no… my purse is downstairs!  It’ dark downstairs and I’m too lazy and tired to go down for it.

As I turned toward the door, I saw my son’s wallet on the bookshelf.  It gave me an idea?  I turned to my son who was still sleeping.  And like a burglar at night, I quietly picked up the wallet and searched for money.  There was a folded five-dollar bill inside.  I’m standing there in the middle of the night wondering, “What the hell am I doing?”  For a split second, I felt guilty.  “How could I be doing this?”  “Just go downstairs and get your purse”, I thought to myself.  But sleepiness and being scared of the dark took over the better part of me… so I took the money.  

I quietly went over to my son’s pillow, set the money under it and quietly left the room trying not to make too much noise as the wood floor kept creaking with every step.  

Boy...do I deserve an award for “bad mother of year!”  

The next morning, my son was happy to find $5 under his pillow for his tooth.  Wow!  He was really excited.  (But no, he doesn’t believe in the tooth fairy.)  My hubby turns to me and mouths, “Five dollars?!”  I smiled,  “Long story.”  

“I’m glad you remembered, ‘cause I had forgotten,” he says.  “So did I,” I said.  I told him what I did last night and he shook his head.  “Did you remember to replace his money?”   I went and got my purse and realized I did not have a five-dollar bill.  “Honey, do you have a five on you?”